How to Quickly Diagnose Where a Christian Marriage Book is Going (Part Two)
Yesterday we looked a reading of Genesis 1-3 that leads to a complementarian view of marriage. We used Mark and Grace Driscoll’s book Real Marriage as a case study of this view. As one commenter pointed out, the Driscoll’s didn’t invent this position. It’s been around for centuries and, I’m sure, has been presented with different nuances.
What’s certainly true of all complementarian theology is that its rooted in a view that prior to sin entering the world, Adam and Eve were given unique roles to fulfill in their marriage relationship with each other and that these roles would be true for men and women throughout history. In their reading of scripture, the story of the Fall is, in part, the story of how Adam and Eve refused to embody these roles. For a complimentarian, then, redemption includes husbands and wives return to these Edenic roles.
I poked this way of reading the text, and suggested that there’s another way of looking at the text. For time’s sake, I’ll match these points with the Driscoll’s five points that I quoted yesterday.
1. Both men and women are “the glory and Image of God.”
(Genesis 1:26-27)
I mentioned yesterday that the Hebrew word “adam” has two translations, the proper male name, and “humanity.” The text makes it clear that God was referring to humanity here:
26 Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals,[a] and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”
27 So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.
2. By naming his wife “Eve”, Adam was abusing his God given creativity.
Before the Fall, the relationship between Adam and Eve is described in terms of intimacy and closeness. Eve is fashioned from Adam’s side. Adam doesn’t nothing to contribute to creating her. He is asleep.
His love song to his wife emphases their partnership and closeness:
“This, at last, is bone of my bone
and flesh of my flesh
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.” (Gen. 2:23)
The Hebrew word Adam uses for “man” is “Ish” and the word he uses for “woman” is “Ishshah.” The words sound alike in the Hebrew. Adam is celebrating intimate partnership. God has given him an equal.
It’s not until after the Fall, and the conflict that God prophesied that would arise between men and woman that Adam renamed his wife Eve. There’s a suggestion among some theologians, that Adam was abusing his God-given task of naming the animals. In his own way, Adam was making a subtle power play against the intimate partner that God gave him.
3. Adam and Eve sinned as a couple (Genesis 3).
Sure, Eve was tempted by Satan and ate first. But the text says that Adam was there (Gen. 3:6). He participated willingly. And then verses later he sins against his wife by throwing her under the proverbial bus when God confronted him (Gen 3:12). When God pronounced his judgment he judged them both.
4. The story of redemption includes returning the marriage relationship to its pre-Fallen state.
Galatians 3:28
5. Servanthood and submission are mutual tasks.
Ephesians 5:22-30. Yes, the text uses the word “submission” in reference to the wives. And then it goes on to tell the men to love their wives as Christ loved the church, this includes servanthood, submission, and self-sacrifice also.
This isn’t an exhaustive post on the topic by any means. I’m not suggesting that complementarians as chauvinists. I’m not even suggesting that this is the egalitarian position that I hastily laid out today is the position of my church. We’ve got staff and pastors on each side of the aisle on this issue.
What I’m trying to say is that the fastest way to predict the main points of a Christian marriage book is to see how Genesis 1-3 are handled. The author’s vision life before the Fall is the direction that he or she is pointing your marriage.





I mentioned in an earlier post that I’m in therapy sorting how out I managed to slip in a deep depression and how I can keep from returning there. Part of the puzzle is the ways I’ve misunderstood God’s personality.
We’re sixteen Republican debates into the election season. By November, we’ll have all whipped ourselves into a vitriolic froth and will have convinced ourselves that the very survival of the planet hinged on the result of the election. Somehow we Christians, whether we are on the right or the left, have given ourselves a pass to be more partisan than Christ-follower in the arena of politics. Christianity Today wisely cautioned us all 



